(I think- cos my scales are slightly messed up)- but yay! I'm really happy. All the hard work and the sore limbs have paid off :)
Yesterday, after gym, as I was walking to my bus stop I started to reminisce and think about the other times I had lost weight (pre-diagnosis), how I had never lost as much as I have so far, and how "faddy" they were. They were always for short-term goals like getting into a dress. Part of what this has taught me is that I can fully commit to something if I try, I have been going to the gym since October '10 and haven't once waivered. Although sometimes I didn't feel like going, I always made myself. It's partly easier to commit to the gym since you pay membership, but it has taught me an invaluable lesson, and I'm really proud of how long I've kept it up.
I start thinking about how easy it is to eat and eat and eat yourself into oblivion, but how painstakingly hard it is to actually exercise and lose weight. The bittersweet irony of it all. Although I myself have a metabolic disorder, which means anything I eat automatically turns to fat, I know that part of the reason I'm in the state I'm in is because I did eat too much. I used to compete with my sister and friends who could eat so much and stay thin, and thought I could do the same too. How wrong I was. I know that once the weight comes off, I will still exercise (God willing) and still have to control my diet. I have to accept I can't eat like normal people.
I am ever-conscious that the lifestyle changes I'm currently making are ones I want to keep with me for life. They aren't one-off's. I just hope I can maintain them.