And in the spring, I shed my skin, and it blows away with the changing winds

Everyday when I'm getting changed, I look at myself in the full-length mirror. I especially look at my stomach which has shrunk massively since I started trying to lose weight. I think it's important to remind myself daily of how far I've come, and what it took for me to get here- blood, sweat and lots of tears. Hardwork, nothing more, nothing less. And I'm proud I've come this far and that I haven't quit. I haven't committed to something for so long before, I used to give up so easily. It makes me happy to think that I did this, with strong willpower I got here. I often think of how much weight of lost and how big I must have been when I started this weight loss thing! It's quite weird to think that.

And then I remind myself of how far I've still yet to go, that saddens me a bit, not because I can't be bothered working out anymore, but because I don't know how long it will take me till I've lost the weight to get at my target goal, and how long it'll take before I can finally be happy with my body.

Sometimes I forget how much weight I have lost. One week I was feeling a bit down and thinking to myself why am I not losing any more weight? I just don't notice it myself. I bumped into a friend at the library who I hadn't seen in five months and she commented on how much weight I've lost- she said "you've shrunk! you've lost so much weight, you can really tell!" and that really brightened my day, I love it when people comment on my weight loss. My doctor even said it once, when I went for an appointment after a couple of months she told me the weight loss was really noticeable and told me to keep going :-)

I remember after just two weeks of going to the gym (when I joined in October 2010), I already felt so much better; more agile, more flexible. My joints were so rigid before I started exercising, my energy levels were so low, I'd get stressed and upset too easily (especially at the time of the month or during exam times), and I had no real outlet to vent all this energy. I really hope I continue exercising at least three times a week, if not more, until I take my last breath. I never realised how truly important exercise is until now, even if you don't want to lose weight, you should still exercise.

I keep thinking to myself- this time last year if someone would have said to me next year you'll join the gym and you'll be there every day- I'd have laughed in their face. It's funny how things change. I thank God so much that I got here- in the end ! My Mother always said to me- the doctors can keep telling you to exercise, I can keep telling you to lose weight, but in the end, if it doesn't come from within- if you don't want to do it, then you won't, but if you really do, then you will.

And I'm so grateful that it has "come from within" this time :) 

I watched the London Marathon a couple of weeks ago, and I felt so inspired and so emotional for all the people taking part. I feel certain that God willing I can complete it myself before I'm 25, and I really hope I achieve that goal.

Until next time...

I dropped a dress size!

YAY. Sorry for not blogging in ages, but there was literally nothing to report on. I've still been going gym 4/5 times a week and working hard.

So far I've lost just over one and half stone! :) Hamdulillah. My trousers actually started to fall down, and for ages I was putting off going to to the shops to find out whether or not I could fit into a size 16.

Even my Mother noticed how loose my trousers are, and they just don't look right. So I was ordered to go to the shop and try on a size 16. And it fit!!! I was pretty happy. They're a tad tight but I have been a size 18 in trousers for a long time, and I can't tell you how ecstatic I am.

I haven't worn them yet, as they need adjusting (the leg length), but yeah, thought that this was worthy of a blog post :)



Until next time

Hit the gym step on the scales stare at the number, you say you dropping 10 pounds preparing for summer, and you don't do it for the man, men never notice

I realise I haven't blogged here for a while- so apolies for that. There isn't really much to report, other than I've changed tact (slightly). I've realised that the majority of the weight I have lost so far has been from my stomach, and whilst I'm happy, I want to target my legs too- calves & thighs

So for the past week I've been doing about 30 mins combined running & walking on an incline (hill) on the treadmill, and around 30 mins on the bike. I realised I'm enjoying it more and I feel more energised and invigorated rather than tired once I leave the gym- so I guess that's a good thing.

For the past week, I haven't really lost any weight- I've remained constant so I didn't do a "weekly weigh in" as I normally do. Although it was initially really disheartening, I've had to keep reminding myself of how fantastic I already feel even though I've only lost 7/8 kgs in total, since I started, and it can only get better from here, God willing.

I think I need to do more at the weekends. As I go to the gym on the weekdays- usually every day, I give myself a rest at the weekend. But then by Monday, I'm back at square one. So I really need to at least schedule a walk or some sort of planned physical activity on the weekend so that I'm always doing something.

I also need to remember to eat properly and eat on time, because if I don't, then my body will go into starvation mode and cling onto the fat- rather than burn it. That's all for now. Thank you ever so much for following my blog and being part of my journey- it means a lot :)

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*Post title is from a song: Drake- fancy

I lost five pounds!!

(I think- cos my scales are slightly messed up)- but yay! I'm really happy. All the hard work and the sore limbs have paid off :)

Yesterday, after gym, as I was walking to my bus stop I started to reminisce and think about the other times I had lost weight (pre-diagnosis), how I had never lost as much as I have so far, and how "faddy" they were. They were always for short-term goals like getting into a dress. Part of what this has taught me is that I can fully commit to something if I try, I have been going to the gym since October '10 and haven't once waivered. Although sometimes I didn't feel like going, I always made myself. It's partly easier to commit to the gym since you pay membership, but it has taught me an invaluable lesson, and I'm really proud of how long I've kept it up.

I start thinking about how easy it is to eat and eat and eat yourself into oblivion, but how painstakingly hard it is to actually exercise and lose weight. The bittersweet irony of it all. Although I myself have a metabolic disorder, which means anything I eat automatically turns to fat, I know that part of the reason I'm in the state I'm in is because I did eat too much. I used to compete with my sister and friends who could eat so much and stay thin, and thought I could do the same too. How wrong I was. I know that once the weight comes off, I will still exercise (God willing) and still have to control my diet. I have to accept I can't eat like normal people.

I am ever-conscious that the lifestyle changes I'm currently making are ones I want to keep with me for life. They aren't one-off's. I just hope I can maintain them.

Tuesday & Wednesday

Not much to say other than I've been working hard and really pushing myself! :)

Tuesday's- 

Wednesday's:

24.01.11

To be honest, I didn't really feel like going to the gym today. I wanted to, cos exercise is an awesome stress-reliever, but on the other hand, I had pre-menstrual pain and I was like- I really cba! I tend to  get a bit out of sync when I haven't been to the gym on the weekend. But I went in the end :) I decided to go on the treadmill that was free and situtated in between two people who were really going for it- in terms of running. It helps when there's people either side of you running too, they spur you on. I have a mental race inside of my head to see who can go for the longest and who burnt the most calories. I'm quite a competitive person.

Anyway, I really pushed myself today. Managed to achieve a distance of over 5K (which I didn't achieve last week) and burnt more than 300 calories. It was quite a mental battle today, my mind kept saying "STOP I can't take anymore," my body was saying "my knees and calves are really aching" but somehow, I kept pushing through :)

I took a picture of my workout summary on the treadmill especially for this blog :

Week 16th Jan-23 Jan 2010

I lost FOUR pounds!! I'm so happy Alhamdulillah. I've worked extremely hard this week, been pounding the treadmill every day as if it was my last day, and really been pushing myself so hard. My diet could have been a bit better this week, in hindsight. I didn't eat enough fruit and opted for chocolates/biscuits instead. I shall keep that in mind for next week.

But anyway, I'm so happy, cos all the hard work has indeed paid off. All the "No I can't do lunch today, I'm going to the gym" has also paid off. This week, on the treadmill, my aim was to run for as long as I could without stopping, and the longest I ran for was 12 minutes! :) even though it was a slow jog, 12 minutes is a loong time! I have aimed for a distance of 5K and a target of 300 calories to burn each day, although I achieved around 4.40k on average and around 250-260 calories burnt daily.

Targets for next week

• Eat more fruit
• Aim to achieve 5k 
• Keep going! :) 
• Push myself more on my days off
• Be more organised- get the balance between gym and doing uni work

Notes to self/things to remember:

• charge iPod
• buy new headphones (they are officially bust!) 
• update iPod (getting bored of same old songs)